This is what I ate today.

I am following Vionna's instructions and writing down what I ate today. Let me warn you right now, it's not pretty. It may disgust you. You may want to turn back now and read no further. But I have made the commitment to write it all down. You on the other hand, have made no commitment that you must have to read it. But if you are so inclined, or you are some sort of masochist, then who am I to tell you to stop reading? But consider yourself warned.

I woke up and had two cups of coffee. We ran out of skim milk while I was out of town and neither my husband nor my mother purchased any. I was forced, forced I tell you, to use the Whole Milk which I had purchased for a recipe I decided I should no longer make because it's not low calorie/low fat. Of course, did I get rid of the sinful milk? Of course not. Two tablespoons of it are in my coffee with about 4 packets of Splenda. (If you are a a coffee purist, yes, I I know. I did offend you. Sorry!)

Now is the time I mention that I hate breakfast about as much as I hate math. So I skipped it. Go ahead, let the flogging commence.

After my kids ate breakfast, because I have successfully brainwashed them to believe they need it, my younger son and I went to the grocery store. I purchased grapes, blueberries and kiwi. I would love to report that these are what I ate when I returned home. But no. One of the kids had opened the box of recently purchased rice crispy treats and I ate one. I do acknowledge that I did not eat more than one. I. Just. Ate. One. And then I had to try the new Pringles Honey Butter flavored stix things which sounded like they would taste good. Unfortunately it took me the entire 90 calorie pack to decide they sucked and I don't like them. But if you have a hankering for the taste of movie popcorn fake butter in a stick form, you may love these things.

Then lunch rolled around. I ate two skinny cow ice cream cones whilst hearing Grover in my head asking, "Why you not eat some low sodium tuna?" To which I can only answer, "I dunno."

I drank several glasses of decaf iced tea. At the store I did not purchase any soda of any kind. I am committed to drinking water and decaf tea. Well, at least after I have my morning coffee. I cannot give up the morning coffee otherwise I'd hallucinate. I know I would. Don't try to tell me it wouldn't happen. I know it would. When i was in high school my mother tried to give up coffee. One morning I walked downstairs and into the kitchen. My mother looked at me and earnestly inquired, "So, Devra, where are you going to be today?" Um. School. Like I have been almost every morning for the past 12 years of my life. If someone I am related to gives up caffeine and loses touch with reality, I know I will too.

Dinner was Shrimp scampi, but a low fat version made with olive oil. lemon juice and very little butter. I measured out the pasta into a one cup container. I ate 5 shrimp. I loaded the plate with fresh mushrooms, onion and garlic. I'd say dinner was a success. I drank more decaf iced tea.

For dessert I had another skinny cow ice cream cone.

Now do me a favor? Someone count up my calories because you know I hate math.

Why it Only Cost $7.99

Last week Vionna pointed out that if we just worked out twice a week and didn't change any of our other habit we would probably never meet our goals.

She had a really good point.

My body is definitely in better shape since we started working out with Vionna, but I have only lost about three pounds and I know why. It is because I still eat crappy food and drink too much beer.

Vionna says that we have to do cardio six days a week (I'm trying, but I think I've over committed myself lately) and write down everything we eat.

We are also supposed to start wearing pedometers and keep track of all of our steps in a day.

No problem, right? I've done this before. I was on the 10,000 step plan for a while. It is a fantastic idea. My issue with this - and it is absolutely MY issue - is that I keep losing/breaking my pedometers. I probably have about 5 pedometers in this house somewhere.

Somewhere.

Since the only one I could find had a dead battery I just picked one up at the grocery store on Sunday. It was only $7.99. A bargain!

You get what you pay for my friends.

The bastard keeps resetting itself. I have been wearing this pedometer constantly for three days now and I have yet to get a reasonable step count. This is beginning to vex me. It is 11:35 and it has already reset my count twice today.

Grrr.

Lesson learned: Don't buy the $7.99 pedometer at the grocery store. Spend the extra $13 and get a good one.

Maverick, it's me. Goose. Help!

Dear Sarah,

Supposedly you are in New Mexico at a wedding and this is your reason for not being at our workout on Thursday. While you were undoubtedly dancing your ass off and counting it as cardio, I was draped over an exercise ball on the rooftop of City Fitness doing lower back extensions. Given my issues with equilibrium, you know it wasn't very pretty. Or balanced.

I think we must make a pact, sealed in perspiration, that we will always go as a pair to see Vionna. No more leaving the wing(wo)man. It's too painful! Whoever coined the term "Safety in numbers" must have shared a personal trainer.

When it was my turn to be with Vionna alone, she made me work my glutes. That's right, she literally made me work my ass off. I just wish I could have worked it off and then left it with Vionna. Not just because it would be one way of reducing my ass quickly, but (heh heh, I said but) because the next day, my tush hurt. My glutes were killing me! Not to mention I had a sensation for the next two days of walking around attached to a Thighmaster.

I can hardly wait for you to get back so we can do more of this:

Make an on-line slideshow at www.OneTrueMedia.com

See you on Tuesday!
Love,
Devra