Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Loser Mom Takes A Road Trip Did She Gain Anything From It?

5:15 AM I hit the road and head north to New York City. Every time I return to my roots I do so with mixed emotions. Actually, no. I have strong emotions about it. Such as what the hell became of "Manhattan?" Now The City is referred to as New York, NY and not Manhattan, NY. I was born in Manhattan! It says so on my birth certificate. This just pisses me off. But on the plus side, my heart rate increases when I think about just how much this pisses me off, so I'll count this as cardio.(Vionna if you are reading this, say yes, please say my piss-offedness does count as cardio as long as I was pissed for 25 minutes. KThxbye.)

The drive up to MANHATTAN which by the way, I will continue to call it until you pry a road atlas from my cold dead hands, went very well. I arrived an entire hour early. This gave me time to find parking and get to the Big Daddy's Diner where I was to attend a special event with comedians/actors Bill Engvall and Tim Meadows. While neither of them are losers like Sarah and I, they both seemed like nice guys for the 5 seconds I got to talk with them. At least if I ever do contact either of them, I have a hook to yank in order to remind them of who I am, "Hey, it's Devra. The parent blogger/author/expert who drove up from DC for that New York event and got there too late because I was trafficking." Maybe some day I'll have the opportunity to meet them again, and ask the questions I wanted to ask about their show and parenting, etc.

Because I arrived late I didn't get to hang out with my gal pals Liz, Joy, and Beth but after the event I did get to have Coffee/And with new blogmigas Kim and Barbara. There were other fabulous faces at the event, but I don't have URL's to pimp so you'll just have to trust me, they were there, and they were fabulous.

While being late was definitely embarrassing (If you know me, you know I always want to be on time) a positive is breakfast service was complete. (Thank you Top Chef. I can't help but think this way. I remain yours. Totally.) So yeah, about the food. I dove into the fresh fruit right away. I didn't even use the whipped cream or whatever kind of dip it actually was, I saw it, but did not use it. The kitchen very sweetly made me some French Toast. Not only did I offer to share it with a man I only just met (He was the camera operator for the film crew at the event) when he passed on my offer, I only ate one piece of the French Toast.

I was feeling fly. (I can feel something from the 80's. Shut up.) As I said, I then went out for coffee with Kim and Barbara. Barbara graciously treated, thank you Barbara! Sadly, I was all too consumed with finding a hotel to sleep in that night, so I wasn't a decent conversationalist and wouldn't blame either of them if they found me distracted and it annoyed them on the inside. Following coffee, I headed uptown to the hotel at E. 32nd street, parked my car, dumped my suitcase and walked uptown to Tweetup at Carnegie Deli for linner with Savvy Auntie (aka Melanie) before meeting my mother at my friend Liam's comedy show "Tell Your Friends". (which if you are in New York in a Monday night, you should go. It's even FREE!)

After walking from E32nd st. & Madison to W 55th St. and 7th Avenue I was feeling groovy. For Linner, Melanie and I spit a tuna sandwich on toasted wheat. We ordered a side of fries, but I didn't eat many of them. I drank an iced tea. We schmoozed. I reversed my trip, walking back to the hotel to meet my mother.

We hopped in a cab and headed to Lolita Bar for Liam's show. I had one drink. It was fruit based, so I think I did okay on that choice. I also drank water. Score! After the show, my mother and I went out for Chinese food. Because in New York, you can do that at 11:30PM on a weeknight. We weren't even the only ones eating. We had hot and sour soup and some sort of sizzling meat dish. I ate all of the soup, which I remember from my weight watcher days won't impede my success. As for the meat dish? It was good, but not so good I had to eat all of it, so I didn't. I also left half of my bowl of rice untouched. Yay!

We hopped back in the cab to the hotel and went to bed. In the morning we got up and visited the cafe next door to the hotel and had breakfast. I had French Toast, but didn't eat all of it, plus it was the short stack, and coffee. Following breakfast we went back upstairs to our 10th floor room. The only negative about our hotel was the elevator. It took FOREVAH to come to pick us up. Once packed, I went to push the elevator button. I joked with my mother as I left our room (she was still packing) about how the elevator would probably come the second I pushed the button since she wasn't ready. And guess what? It did. I decided to let it go since I knew others would be waiting on it like we've been doing every time. Seconds later my mom pops out of the room packed and ready to go.

I informed her about how the elevator had come and I had let it go because I thought of the others below us who might need it. So we waited in silence for a long time. And then my 71 year old mother quietly observed, "You know what? You probably should have held the elevator." We were both was silent for another moment before I heard her say, "Fuck The Others." We both had a good laugh about it. Considering both of us consider ourselves to be considerate people who don't go out of our way to fuck anyone else over, especially The Others. If you can't enjoy a fuck The Others moment with your mom, then really life just isn't all that much fun, is it? Deep thought. I have another...

As I awaited the elevator, I got to thinking that "quick and fast" will get you there. However, the elevator lead me to be much more zen about it. Correction. I am much more Aesop about it. My mantra is now "Slow and steady wins the race."


Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah said...

If being pissed off worked as cardio I would be much thinner.

Devra said...

I knew I should have left you alone with Vionna! Now you're all "That's not cardio. Nooo. It's not."

You suck today.

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